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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Restroom comedy has always been the reliable retreat for daily publications, and publications remain attentive regarding memorable lavatory incidents and milestones, particularly within football. It was quite amusing to discover that an online journalist a famous broadcaster possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs in his house. Reflect for a moment regarding the Barnsley supporter who understood the bathroom a little too literally, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium following dozing off in the toilet midway through a 2015 losing match against Fleetwood Town. “He was barefoot and had lost his mobile phone and his headwear,” explained an official from the local fire department. And everyone remembers at the pinnacle of his career with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli visited a nearby college to access the restrooms in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, before entering and requesting directions to the restrooms, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a pupil informed the Manchester Evening News. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds acting like the owner.”

The Lavatory Departure

Tuesday marks 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down from the England national team following a short conversation inside a lavatory booth with FA director David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the legendary venue. As Davies recalls in his journal, his private Football Association notes, he entered the drenched troubled England locker room directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams “fired up”, both of them pleading for the director to convince Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to save the circumstance.

“What place could we identify [for a chat] that was private?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Only one option presented itself. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history occurred in the ancient loos of a venue scheduled for destruction. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I secured the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, later admitting that he had found his period as Three Lions boss “empty”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” The English game has progressed significantly during the last 25 years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, whereas a German currently occupies in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year's international tournament: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for women's football cup news concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Quote of the Day

“We stood there in a lengthy line, in just our underwear. We represented Europe's top officials, elite athletes, role models, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our gazes flickered a bit nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Mute and attentive” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures referees were previously subjected to by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“What’s in a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to take care of the first team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Since you've opened the budget and awarded some merch, I've chosen to type and share a brief observation. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the school playground with kids he knew would beat him up. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|